我都係冇變

一開始以為佢會帶我上岸,結果先知自己陷入深淵

Mr An .Banker 30頭 一齊咗兩個月,雖然唔耐,但我連佢個名都唔知叫做咩,我記得第一次見佢我哋約喺旺角見,我搵咗幾間餐廳俾佢揀,之後嗰間餐廳睇到好多人要排隊,我哋就去咗第二間,我記得第一次同佢食飯,我話我想食兒童餐,佢係嗰度笑我,嗰時我唔太肚餓,亦都見到個Menu啲嘢食好貴,所以先諗住要個兒童餐就算,之後餐廳職員話得小朋友先有得嗌兒童餐,最後唯有嗌咗杯嘢飲,起初問佢點解會搵PTGF,佢話同女朋友分咗手冇幾耐,我亦都相信咗,食完飯我哋就上房,佢冇買condom,我叫佢落七仔買返。但係其實佢已經俾咗錢我,待到買完返番間房之後,我問佢你驚唔驚我走咗,佢話唔驚,佢信得過我⋯⋯返到屋企同佢都有keep住傾偈,佢亦都好似好着緊我,同佢一齊,相處得都幾舒服,我同佢10日見咗5次,陪我做功課,佢會lunch time鼠出嚟同我一齊食嘢,佢會係我唔開心嘅時候安慰我,佢會陪我去睇醫生,佢會陪我去打卡,帶我去食鍾意食嘅嘢,我每次都會攬實佢.

之後佢都提及想佔有我,哩度無咩好男人,如果想佔有我就俾家用我啦,而佢真係應承咗我,未識佢之前,發生咗好多事,個處境都好差,我都好唔開心,同佢一齊緊嘅嗰段時間,有人錫我,有人關心我,有人係我難過嘅時候陪住我,佢亦都俾咗好大希望我,而呢個男人亦都令我瘋狂愛上佢,因為佢令我覺得佢鍾意我,佢好關心我,佢個眼裡得我一個女人,同佢一齊我當自己拍緊拖,而我都好驚呢段感情好快就會消失,亦都驚對方唔係單身,同我一齊佢好似成日都唔掂部手機,每一次都問佢有冇女朋友或者老婆,自己都冇乜安全感,我亦都記得好多次自己屈埋一邊喺度偷偷喊,可能唸起自己一點唔開心嘅處境,亦都可能驚佢突然離開

幸福來得好快,亦都走得好快,過咗兩個月之後,佢亦都冇點搵我,個原因係因為佢疫情令到佢份工好忙,屋企有事佢走唔開,我亦都問咗佢好多次見唔見我,佢都話唔得閒,由日日傾偈去到一個星期冇幾句,我認都真係幾崩潰,夜晚都會偷偷喺嗰度喊,以為自己失戀。不過唔緊要啦,我等,我唔介意等,等多兩個月,佢話佢有排都唔會見我,之後我又開始約人。

過多兩個月之後,佢再搵我傾偈,我叫佢幫我買嘢,不過我有俾返錢佢,我仲記得之前同我出街我買嘢我都唔會捨得叫佢俾錢,佢亦都冇買過一樣禮物俾我,而我會想想買啲禮物俾佢,就因為果次佢幫我買嘢,我哋又再保持聯絡,有一次上房佢幫我做功課,我哋又有搞嘢,我話我唔鍾意人哋當我係SP,佢第二日俾返啲家用我,而嗰次做功課都令我徹底清醒,佢教我做功課,錄左條片俾我,我見到佢個英文名,走去其他交友網站搵佢個名,見到佢同一個女人攬住kiss ,背景仲係Paris.影婚紗相先會去法國,嗰一刻我真係崩潰,我愛上嘅人係一個有婦之夫,令我覺得成件事好搞笑 我只不過係一個玩意令人玩弄 我只不過陪人哋再經歷一次所謂嘅初戀  知道自己咁樣俾人呃 果斷時間都好崩潰 同人哋出去玩定係返工唸起都會流眼淚 應該就係愛得幾深恨得就有幾深

 時間過咗好耐 但我依然都冇變過 處境都仲係咁差

都仲有人想當我係SP 都仲係好傻 呵